Is it an idea..?
Because I’m starting to disbelieve in such a word.. can someone love you forever..can someone be with you forever..you fall so madly in love with someone who you hope can make you feel “forever” but they leave…they leave as fast as they can.. like comitment wasn’t even something that was imprinted in their head. How is it possible that someone can be with you forever..its crazy but even after 6 months, you start believing that this person will be a forever..you start saying I love you..but in a couple years you would have been so used to this person until they leave..and what are you suposed to do…what are you suposed to feel..did they get bored..? Even after 3 year relationships, the person leaves.. isn’t is strange that we can be so used to someone but even after three years, they want to leave..how…? I thought they were supposed to be used to you to.. they were supposed to believe in forever to..they were supposed to love you..”forever”…
Okay..so I made up my mind.everyone thinks that you have to have money in order to be fucking happy when in reality that’s not fucking true..
The truth is, I don’t feel like I need to go to college to feel success.. my family thinks I’m a failure for not going but honestly I just know I won’t be happy..that’s why I’ve made up my plan. So right now I’m working at taco bell. Soon, ill be saving up to be in Oklahoma… I know it sounds crazy but I just need to be somewhere different… I want to be in Oklahoma..then Cali. Once I get the money, me and little Hope are leaving.. I guess I just need to be alone..nobody understands that I’m just not ready to move on…nobody understands that I just need something new..I’m tired of all this. I’ve been feeling so lonely..and so depressed..I just feel like my heart is worn out..I just need to leave..I need to find something new..I’ve never felt so tired..
I want to do this on my own..I don’t know if I’m ready but I need to teach myself how to grow up..